SKY Castle (스카이캐슬)

Self-Injury

Before coming to Japan, I was an English instructor(or teacher) for about 15 years, during which I could interact with quite lots of teenagers on a long term basis(if it was short, just a few weeks, and if long, it became years), which is quite different from the current situation in which I see new customers every single day.

As a person who was involved in private education in Korea, I guess, I was quite accepting and tolerant of my students’ ways of thinking and behaving(in many cases, I was persuaded by my students over their claims that they don’t have to or should not study English or other subjects they were forced to cram).

However, one thing was seriously disturbing me. It was self-injury. Some students showed me her wrist covered with bandages, smiling proudly. Other students was scratching their injured part on their skin in my classroom and shouted at me with excitement,

“Mr. Park, look at this! Isn’t it awesome? It feels good!”

‘Feels good?’

I just blamed the stress they were taking. I couldn’t figure out why they felt good injuring themselves. Only one thing I knew or felt was that the number of students injuring themselves had been increasing year by year.

 SKY Castle(스카이캐슬)

from Google

Last week, checking news from Korea online, I happened to know a TV drama titled “SKY Castle(스카이 캐슬)” has been sweeping in.

In the title, ‘SKY’ doesn’t mean sky where birds or airplanes fly around. It is abbreviation of ‘Seoul, Korea, and Yonsei’ which are the names of the top three privileged universities in Korea, which most of parents in Korea are eager to send their kids to.

The drama deals with the uncontrolled desire of parents in Korea who want to transmit their reputation and wealth to their kids through education, suffering of their kids, and the tragedies of the families.

I haven’t watch any single episode(I am in Japan). Instead, I listened to a podcast which deals with the issue of why the drama has been attracting huge attention by the public in Korea.

A panel was invited to the podcast and joined the talk. Interestingly for me, he was quite experienced counselor and psychoanalyst. His name is Lee Sungwoo(이승우).

He revealed several behaviors and symptoms of huge population of Korean middle and high school students have been showing with their heavy stress and one of them was self-injury. He added that it had becoming more serious.

I checked a few articles over the issue of teenagers’ self injury. Hangyorae21(한겨레21) released special reports over the issue in November last year(2018). According to the reports, 7.9 of 100 teenagers in Korea reported to have experienced self-injury.

The anchor of the podcast didn’t seem to understand the psychological mechanism of self-injury like I didn’t and asked him why they do what they do.

Thank you, Freud!

 Mr. Lee explained the mechanism quoting principles of psychoanalysis,

“People commit self-injury behavior to make sure they are still alive. If you are bombarded with oppression and stress, their senses of existence become dull physically and mentally. They injure themselves to resist the dullness.”

Quite interesting.

He added,

“For example, if you feel comfortable with your stomach, you don’t feel it is there. You recognize that it is there, when you feel sick or uncomfortable having stomach.”

Alas! Suffering is part of our existence!

There were many reasons I quit teaching English in Korea and came to Japan choosing to do a bit humble job(I do sometimes cleaning, dishes and etc). One of them was that I felt that I had wasted my time and energy on something destructive not just on myself but others who have lots of potential.

It has been alarmed everywhere!

From small seminars to short discussion drinking beer, non-Korean friends start the conversation to praise Korea over its rapid growth from one of the poorest countries after the 3 year long civil war(Korean War) to one of the richest countries in the world. But, as time went by, the topic always goes to education. They just say,

“It is crazy for kids to sit on the chair from early in the morning to midnight.”

Even in the book I am reading,‘Global Game Change: How the Global Southern Belt Will Reshape Our World’, the authors(John Naisbitt and Dorris Naisbitt) point out the crazy education system in Korea(of course, he didn’t say the word ‘crazy’).

Let’s go back to the classic but most crucial philosophy: Know yourself! (Know yourself through psychology!) In East Asia, parents’ devotion for their children’s education has been absolutely virtuous sacrifice. It couldn’t be questioned.

Mr. Lee commented,

“We should know how extremely evil parents’ desires are.”

He introduced a case he had seen.

“ A son disappeared suddenly. He had just finished his intern term in his medical school. Before disappearing, he called his mom lastly and said," it was the hell to have lived as your son. Please, don’t try to find me." In his high school days, his mom had used to bow 108 times every single night wishing his success.”

He added,

“ We should try to figure out our desire thoroughly.”

These days, I often ask myself, (not that much related to the issue of the blog)

“ Why did I come to Japan at the age when I should have settled down and started a family in Korea?”

It is not about comparing myself with other guys, but exert my effort to figure out the direction I have been aiming for consciously or subconsciously.

Shadowy sides of "Minna"(みんな)

from Google

I've lived in Japan for 10 months, and as time went by, I recognized that the things I used to know are quite different from the things that I've got to know over. 

"Minna"（みんな）: a word I used to like back in Korea

I used to like a Japanese word, "Minna"（みんな） which can be translated to 'everyone', 'all the people around', or sometimes 'you guys' in conversation. Syntactically, the spectrum of usage of it is quite wide. Walking along streets in cities or towns in Japan, you can easily find the word in slogans in posters and banners. Back in Korea, when I was quite basic in Japanese and taking a Japanese class in the community center, many of Japanese songs I was taught included the word in the titles. I liked the word. I liked the pronunciation because it was quite easy to make and with the lyrics with it the meanings felt quite cool and sound. 

"Minna"（みんな）: a word I do not like to hear at least at work anymore

I started to see and have arguments at work, which could paradoxically imply that I've been quite immersed to Japanese working cultures and at the same time conflicted with my personal value(partly Korean). Reflecting back the last spring and summer when I was much less fluent in Japanese that I was not able to express my opinions specifically and knew Japanese working culture less than now that I had difficulty in finding clues to track current contexts, feeling foolish, I am quite confident dealing with the situation I face every moment. On the other hand, I've become a bit critical having seen things I was struggling to accept.  One of the things that I am struggling is the divinized value of "Minna"（みんな）.

Different situations and the same excuse: "Minna"（みんな）

Case 1 

I had a Korean coworker who had just graduated from college and got a job in Japan.  Her main job was serving foreign customers for breakfast and dinner. In other words, her job was a waitress(No one used the word, though).  One day, the manager abruptly changed the shift schedule and called her. But she didn't pick up the phone. He left a text message. Probably she was busy doing something and didn't respond even by the time when she should have come to work. Just about 10 minutes before the dinner time, a text message from her arrived to his phone. Her message was that she had been sorting things out and taking a shower and couldn't hear her phone ring  and read the messages. She added a message that she could not come to work right away. He got angry and called her. He yelled at her on the phone shouting, 

" Everyone is waiting!"(みんな待ってるよ！）

Listening to him, I came up with a question,

' Who is that everyone?'

Case 2 

All of a sudden, she quit and went back to Korea. And I had to replace her temporarily. The cuisine offered are "kaiseki", in which tens of traditional Japanese dishes with quite traditional names and histories, which ,of course, takes time learning and memorizing,are offered. However, she suddenly quit and I suddenly replaced her. I didn't have any clue over what the dishes are and how they should be served. Moreover, the menu was scribbled by the chief chef manually and I barely could read it. I went to the office and gave the manager a complaint that without enough time and training I couldn't do the job (with tough tone). It became an argument.  He got angry and shouted at me,

"Everyone is getting paid like you are and trying hard. Why aren't you doing so?!"(みんな、お前のように給与をもらって頑張っているのにお前はなぜ文句ばかりなの?)

Again, e-v-e-r-y-o-n-e.

It seems that the ultimate religion in Japan is "Minna"（みんな).

This blog is not academic at all. I don't want to define 'religion' specifically. But, provided that there is dogmatic value in every religion, every society has its own dogmatic value and  I think the value can be called 'the religion of a society.' For instance, it appears to me that the United States of America has Christianity as its religion. Looking deep into its constitution, I see the core value quite Christian(it could be helpful to read Yuval Noah Harari's Homo Sapiens). And the values the members(Americans) are following and pursuing look Christian whether they call themselves Christian or not.  The same way, with any expense, Japanese seem to try to keep peace and harmony within the society and the value of "Minna"（みんな） looks like a kind of black hole to absorb all the other social values. 

What happened after the argument

I guess it could be a bit distracting considering the topic of the blog. A funny thing happened. Actually, I had expected that I would be treated like an outcast by the manager and coworkers. I am a foreigner( I don't think I can be included in the minna), and I knew the way I did claim my view(saying things directly with tough tone) was quite strange to the Japanese.  But it was reverse. My coworkers treated me with a bit more respect and even the boss became sweet to me( I am not sure he thinks sometime he would stab me on my back). I told my coworker with whom I am sharing the studio that I was a bit surprised with the people's reaction.  He confessed that all the staff(especially young staff) have strong complaints against the manager but couldn't reveal them because they do not. He said that it is extremely rare for Japanese to reveal their complaints to their boss overtly and directly. He added that he was envious of me  that I have guts to do so.  

A general lesson learned : living is definitely different from traveling.

And I didn't quit and won't. I like living in Japan. I have been learning lots of things. 

One more, Korean working culture doesn't seem that different.