One of my friends who I think is still in doubt and turmoil looking for God like me watched 'Silence' and suggested it to me. I' have been interested in the history over how Christianity was introduced, spread and oppressed in Japan, so I watched it before I left for Japan. The character I focused on in the movie was 'Kichijiro' who sometimes helped Rodrigues and Garupe and sometimes betrayed them. Helping the two young Portuguese Fathers or betraying them like Judas, Kichiro was always suffering from guilt and fear. Whenever there was a chance, he begged Rodrigues to get his confession. Looking at him, he looked scared over losing his chance to go to the Heaven. He was not the only one. A couple of poor peasants kept asking Rodrigues to confirm they could go to the Heaven getting thier baby baptized. They chose Christian God to go to the Heaven.
Luckily in the church I go to the pastor got me a good chance to think over a simple but profound question: why I need God. It was the question he suggested at the start of the sermon. I stopped and stood somewhere questioning over whether Christianity can help people including me overcome their igocentrism. I thought that a lot of Korean Christians look like they go to church and confess thier faith in Jesus Christ in order to be guaranteed something in their lives or after thier lives, which I guess is ultimately putting themselves as the priority. Of course, it is human nature to put oneself priority, but if there are no concepts or ideas to overcome the egotism in a religion, whether well-structured logically and theologically ,I have thought it could be meaningless.
For the fellowship after the service, 'Romans' was dealt with for sharing ideas, which was a good chance as well for me to be reminded 'Paul.' Arriving home, I checked the books about religions and Christianity I have and read the parts where Paul was mentioned( of course, the amount in the four books I have over Paul was huge given his significance in Christianity). Fortunately, I found some clues which could get me a few more steps further from the place where I've been stuck.
Don't be selfish; don't try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privilages: he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appered in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal's death on a cross. (Philppians Chapter2 3-8)
Paul emphasized the sinificance of 'emptying(being humble)' and asserted that we should empty(humble) ourselves. He said 'Jesus' Cross' is the the symbol of self-emptying. Understanding and accepting Jesus this way is called 'Kenotic Christology'(오강남, '종교, 심층을 보다,'현암사(2011), P147).
In the later part of 'Silence', Ferreira who Rodriues had been looking for, persuaded him to surrender his faith.
Ferreira: Japansese believe the distortion of our Gospels. They did not believe it at all. They never believe it.
Rodrigues: How could you say that? There are hundreds of thousands of converts from St. Fransis Javier through you!
Ferreira: Fransis Javier came here to teach Japanese Christianity and first try to figure out how 'Son of God' is referred to. It was 'Dainich' he was told. Can I show what 'Dainichi' is? Behold(pointing out the sun). That is Son of God. Japanese can not think of any existence beyond the relevant nature. For them, nothing transcends humans. They can't not conceive the idea of our Christian God.
Looking at the situations of Korean churches polluted with corruptions, scandals, and crimes, I doubt maybe most Korean Christians believe in the distortion of Gospels like Japanese in 400 years ago.
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